Tento rozhovor je dostupný iba v angličtine.
I was born like most babies with unlimited and highly undetermined capacity. I had in me, as the majority of the world’s children, the opportunity to become anything: a good father, a criminal, the world’s greatest guitarist, or the inventor of a new physics theory.
Name: I have many names. Nadim M. or Nadim Mekki, or Doktor Kanieshna and many others.
Profession: Thinker, writer, strategist.
How does a typical day in your life look like?
I’m a nomad, moving from one country to the other for many years now. That’s why describing a typical day is difficult. But almost every day I drink coffee in the morning and read the news, do sport, then I have lunch, read a book, answer emails and I do some work on my laptop. In the night, I like to… sleep.
What makes you feel calm and relaxed?
Being on the beach, nature or the mountains makes me feel very relaxed. Having deep conversations and connecting with friends also makes me feel very calm.
What are the things you were interested in as a child?
I was interested in science, philosophy, psychology and playing all kinds of games. I was also interested in having fun with all kinds of friends. Basically, it is exactly the same today.
What turns you on to live at the moment? What gets you excited to wake up each morning?
The idea of drinking a coffee makes me feel excited. The mere fact of being awake and alive is already a gift. Every day, there are many things that I can experience, and many funny things I can do.
When did you start to explore your sexuality?
I forgot a lot about it, but apparently, I used to enjoy a lot sucking the tits of my mother and feeling her skin against mine. Then I enjoyed every skin contact with others, and as I child I used to play with my genitals and explore the genitals of others. Before I reached puberty, someone in the primary school told me that if I masturbate, my penis will become bigger. So I started the practice, but quickly realized it was a lie. I don’t know if this answers your question!
You experienced what is to live in sexually different cultures. How did it affect you?
I grew up in a relatively conservative society, Tunisia, where sexuality is highly taboo and the general sexual mindset can be very different from Western countries. Then, at the age of 23, I moved to Canada where sexuality is maybe more banalized. Until now, I feel that my sexuality is neither Tunisian nor Canadian. I think my sex life cannot be linked to those cultures. But this cross-cultural experience made me learn and think a lot about numberless similarities and differences.
Which were your expectations before having sex for the first time? Have these expectations changed over time?
I have no idea what do you mean by “sex for the first time” and I don’t use this kind of labeling, because I don’t think that there is really something we could clearly designate as “sex” and “first time”. But I will still answer your question.
My expectations were always to feel and share a tremendous amount of pleasure, and they did not change over time.
How important is for you self-pleasure/masturbation?
Masturbation for me is in the heart of my sexuality. It is a moment of exploration, imagination and total freedom. Learning how to give pleasure to myself helps me to know how to give pleasure to others.
What are the 3 traits you love about yourself (and maybe you had problems with in the past)?
To be very honest with you, I don’t ask myself this question. Do you think a dog asks himself that kind of questions? I am not a dog specialist, but I don’t think so. And I like to live my life like a dog or a monkey in this matter. When I look at the mirror, I see myself like I see you or like I see a tree. That is just me.
As I grew up in a society where modern advertisement and individualism were not that present, I have never thought that someone could feel what we call “low self-esteem” for example.
How do you feel about unrealistic and stereotypical portrayals of men in the media?
I don’t know about which portrayals you talk exactly, but in all cases, I think it is impossible to make portrayals of men and women that could be realistic.
So personally I don’t feel anything about it. I like to explore myself by myself. And what I find, that’s me. Every man is different and every woman is different. And I don’t even think about myself as a man.
Is your close environment open to talking about intimacy and sexuality? Who inspires you in exploring your sexual being?
Some are open and some others are not. There is not someone in particular who inspires me in exploring my sexual being, but it’s rather the beauty and the sexual energy I can perceive or imagine in everyday life. It is the exploration of my and other’s desires that inspire me.
What are your sexual fantasies?
I would like to spend time with a wild woman living in a jungle somewhere totally cut from humanity. I would like to explore sexuality in every corner of the planet, especially in cultures that are far from the West.
I also would like to open at least one school of sex.
And I would like to become a woman. And also a father with two lesbians.
What arouses you to your core?
The moment right before the first touch or the first kiss. The wild desire that you can feel or perceive in the eyes of the other.
Which is the role of sex and sexuality in your life?
Sexual desire is the main drive of my life. It even decides about which side of the street should I walk… I perceive my life as highly influenced by sexual energies from everywhere.
What are your goals and inspirations? What is your current purpose?
This is a question that I prefer to answer in a very simple way. Right now my goal is to make you happy and to make you smile. And more generally, if I die before you, I would like to still be able to make you smile after my death.
What makes you feel more connected to God, Spirit, Universe or Nature?
Everything makes me feel connected to the things you mentioned. What makes me feel more connected is a deep connection with others, or also the use of certain drugs like LSD.
A book you would like to recommend?
Sorry, I wouldn’t like to recommend any book. I rather recommend to not to do anything and to just look around.
What is your favorite food or recipe? What is your relationship between sex and food?
I like all kind of food, and especially the Mediterranean cuisine. Fresh tomatoes and olive oil is the flavor that composed my food.
The hunger we feel is designed to preserve our life. If you stop eating, you die. It is exactly the same for sex. The hunger for sex is designed to preserve life. If we stop having sex, our species will disappear. That is why I always say that there is a very big relation and analogies between food and sex. Food preserves life and sex reproduces life.
Now, where it becomes interesting is to see that we do not eat only to preserve our lives. We also eat because it gives us pleasure. The enjoyment produced by eating explains why humans created so many gastronomies and so many traditions around the activity of eating and preparing the food. Eating for the only purpose to survive and not to die of hunger is very different. If you are starving you will not take the time to prepare for yourself nice food. You will eat what you find as quickly as possible. It is a matter of life and death.
It is the same for sex. We do not have sex only to reproduce. Most of the time we have sex because it is enjoyable. This is why we can explore so many ways and manners to bring this enjoyment. Like with food, there is an infinity of combinations of ingredients we can use and taste, in sex there is an infinitely wide range of enjoyable feelings and practices.
What are the 3 things you admire in a woman? Which qualities do you look for and which traits would you rather avoid?
I am sorry I cannot answer your question as it is asked. I always think things as a whole. When I look at a woman, I open my eyes to see everything I can see, and I open my soul to feel all the energy I can feel. I like to see how a woman smiles.
What is the main misunderstanding between men and women?
Even if a dog and a bird would be able to speak the same language, they will not be able to understand their respective worlds. A dog can run and has a powerful sense of smell, while a bird can fly and has powerful eyes. Their anatomies are so different and it makes their perceptions and experiences of the world very different.
The anatomy and hormone system of the young woman makes her prepared every month to welcome “something” inside her. This thing that comes inside the woman is cared for and then miraculously delivered as a baby.
While the anatomy and hormone system of the man is designed to make the man looking to inject his organ and his sperm inside a womb.
Those two anatomies are perfectly compatible for reproduction. But when it comes to sexual emancipation, pleasure, enjoyment, and understanding of the world, you find that the relationship between males and females is full of barriers and difficulties. It is not surprising. Look at the relation between orgasm and reproduction for example. For the man, orgasm is necessary for reproduction, and it is rather simple and mechanical. For the woman, the orgasm is not necessary for reproduction, and it is rather complicated, multiple and mysterious.
A young man can have an orgasm with almost any young woman in less than 5 minutes.
But for a young woman to have an orgasm with a young man, it’s a different story.
I believe our way of thinking and behaving is explained by our genitals. If there is so much misunderstanding between men and women, it is because men do not know what it feels like to have a vagina and women do not know what it feels like to have a penis.
Even if men and women can speak the same language, when a man says “love”, it is not the same meaning like when a woman says “love”. And it is the case for many other words.
How to awake pleasure and desire in a long-term relationship?
I cannot say. Everyone has to find a suitable way for themselves.
But if I speak only about myself, I believe that having sex with other people outside the relationship is very exciting. When my partner is having sex with another, it awakens the desire in me. The other powerful thing is also to bring a third party within the relationship. Of course, you need to be slightly polyamorous to indulge in such pleasurable activities in total harmony and respect.
What is your opinion about money and the pressure to be a financial success as a man?
I personally don’t feel this pressure. Money should not be such an important topic like it is now in our societies. Once I have enough to buy food, shelter and basic necessities, I prefer to talk about sex or happiness rather than money. The well-being that money can bring is very limited.
What are your points of view about the LGBT movement and the extension of gender and sexuality?
Your question is asked from a Western perspective and I will answer it from that Western perspective. I think that the LGTB movement and the extension of gender and sexuality is a welcomed social progress towards more authenticity and more freedom.
On the other hand, I have to say that Western civilization has framed sexuality through the principles of moral sexuality in Christianity. For long centuries, it was the Church who was saying to the people what is a good sexuality and what is a bad sexuality. And it is still continuing today. The sexual beliefs and behaviors in Western societies are still heavily influenced by the Church. So the LGBT movement, for example, is just the reestablishment of something that always existed and was recognized before and still in other cultures.
Look at the status of travesties, gays, and transsexuals in other cultures and you will see that they do not need the LGBT movement because they are already recognized in society. Men dressed up as women are frequently seen in Malaysia, Thailand, and even in the trains of India.
We need to let the people express their sexuality as they feel it. And we also need to feel free to think and to behave outside of any categories like “man”, “woman”, “male”, female”, “homosexual”, “heterosexual”, “bisexual”, “transsexual”, etc. In the Western world, we are creating more and more categories to free the people, but I say that even if those words can be useful for communication, everyone has to be totally free to feel what he feels and to express himself as he is.
We have a lot to learn from each other, and particularly a lot to learn from what we call the LGTB community.
What is the best advice about life, love or sex you ever received?
I like the advice of old people. The older they are the better it is.
One old woman told me: You have to live your young age fully. Do the things you can do when you are still young.
What would you recommend to men who want to understand their sexuality and women better?
I recommend them to become friends with women. With true friendship, you can ask about anything and understand many things.
Where can people connect with you or contact you?
Everybody can visit my web page and there is my email, facebook, etc.