Let the beauty of what you love, be what you do.Rumi
What is the healthy feminine? How does a Queen feel like?
Note: If you are not sure what I mean by feminine or any gender issues arise, read the disclaimer.
She inspires and creates. She is radiant, joyful, loving, authentic, compassionate, vulnerable. She is grounded with strong boundaries. She asks for what she needs. She knows her passion, trusts her intuition, connects people, makes a positive change in her environment, supports her surroundings. She knows how to surrender.
What is blocking you from being a radiant fulfilled women, from being yourself?
You believe that everything else has priority before you.
You think you’re not worthy and you don’t deserve to spend time for yourself.
You are lost in a relationship as you don’t know who you are.
You don’t cultivate any hobbies, saying you don’t have time.
You criticize, judge or gossip about others.
You spend too much time on social media, with your phone, TV or laptop.
You blame money or your partner, parents, kids, friends.
You say that there is no right time for it now.
You have excuses.
How to reconnect with your body? How to listen to your intuition and awaken your senses? How to grow in a sustainable way and take a better care of yourself? Ideas & Techniques.
1. Relax.
Learn how to relax your body and release accumulated tension.
I can’t keep my attention high or stay creative while I’m tight. Being calm and relaxed shapes my focus remarkably sharp, makes me feel connected to my body to be able to listen to its warning signals, like it’s time to drink some water or stand up from the chair to stretch and move a little.
Ladies, relaxation is one of the key secrets to the orgasmic state, more you relax, more pleasure you feel!
How?
I use the following techniques:
Breath consciously. Stop for a moment, sit or stand comfortably and inhale deeply and slowly through your nose, while pushing your belly out. Exhale fully with the belly going back to its original position. Repeat till you feel peaceful while you place your consciousness into the breathing.
Take a short walk. Get some air before making a decision, especially while you are under pressure or stressed.
If you have 15 minutes and you can lay down, try the following relaxation technique (called Progressive Muscle Relaxation), which works for me. You slowly relax every part of your body. For better illustration and explanation, follow the video.
2. Fall in love with your body.
When a temple is ready a god/goddess will appear.
Make love with food. Choose your delicious meal intuitively and show gratitude for it. Share it with someone. Take your time with every bit. Savor it slowly noticing its flavors, scents, and arising sensations.
Note: if your feel you should get that burger with extra fries with some added sugar, you know that you shouldn’t trust your intuition. It’s important to listen to our feelings, but they are often deceiving. Do you poison yourself or you build vitality with every meal taken? Take baby steps replacing bad habits for healthy ones.
Drink plenty of water, your refillable bottle should be easily reached.
Get naked.
Each body is unique, no matters of size or shape, is capable of giving and receiving pleasure.
I love to swim in a safe nudist beach or sleep without clothes on. Honor your body. Dance, cook or spend extra time being naked before taking a shower, admiring every wondrous curve of your body. Feel how water drops gently touch your skin. You are incredibly sexy. I understand strong issues which can arise with this point. We all have to learn that we’re beautiful, the way we’re.
Get proper sleep by turning off all screens at least half an hour before planning to go to bed. Consume less caffeine and alcohol.
Move your body consciously. Dance, jump, do yoga, walk, shake it, baby! Don’t think if you’re doing it right or wrong, just do it, be silly and free yourself!
Wear clothes that make you feel succulent. Living freely is about your choices. Choose quality (to support your body), originality (to encourage favorite artist/designer), and sustainability (to save our mother Earth). You are what you wear.
Always wear sunscreen and sunglasses.
Note: I don’t wear much make-up, but I treasure my red lipstick.
Appreciate your body. Say thanks to your legs for carrying you, your arms for being able to hug your beloved, your butt for sitting comfortably, your body for bearing you.
3. Fall in love with your mind.
Meditate. Meditation is here to make your life bigger by deeper engagement. Give yourself permission to explore life in an authentic way. Learn how to be more open, kind, loving. Being sad or angry is part of the real human experience.
Meditation encourages you to be more present by training continuous awareness.
If you don’t know where to start, I love techniques from American meditation teacher Shinzen Young or meditate with the SF Dharma Collective, or try the following playlist from Yale University.
Spend time alone. Create your own self-care routine and rituals.
We tend to overfocus on relationships, try to give each other space.
Dig into your own matters, not theirs.
I think it’s valuable to not always get what we want, when we want it, how we want it, every single time.Lady Groove
Make a commitment to commence working on your unresolved stuff. Do personal development and self-work. Looking inward, how is your inner union? We carry unfinished issues from the past (traumas & childhood’s wounds) into current relationships with our friends, partner, kids.
Liberate yourself from your fears. It means building your courage, not stop to be afraid. We don’t live fully, because we’re scared of many things.
We are kept from our goal not by obstacles but by a clear path to a lesser goal. Robert Brault
You can start with journaling to write things down or commit to coaching or therapy. Having a mentor or therapist is a sign of strength and courage. Contact me or find a person you trust.
Stay curious about life. Ask questions. Have fun and travel before serious engagement with your career. Experiences make us happier than buying stuff. Embrace your creative side. Try new things. Paint, play on a musical instrument. My artist soul is shining when I play with my camera, write, coach or dance.
Awake your soul and perceive life as it is. Open your heart to the Universe. Living a loving life comes with creating love for yourself and spontaneously opening to everything around you.
Be honest. With yourself and the people around you. Learn how to listen and express yourself. Ask for feedback, it makes us grow. Set up boundaries. Don’t negotiate on things, you can’t compromise.
Slow down. Spend time in nature. Contemplate during running, hiking or walking. Taking care of plants or gardening is an amazing way how to connect with nature.
4. Spend time with your good friends.
Surround yourself with great friends who inspire you. Find your women circle, support system, tribe. Together we can grow and flourish. You can’t be the only radiant Queen shining there.
Wise women don’t emasculate men, don’t check their phone while having coffee with someone, don’t sabotage you, don’t compare themselves with others, don’t judge, or gossip, they are not mean or toxic.
With your friends you can be honest and open, you can trust, help and encourage each other. What are my gifts, would I be good at this? Invest in quality relationships. Sharing time with people enhances our final experience from those moments.
5. Be in charge of your time.
How to stay productive and keep yourself on track?
The main message: Be systematic.
I won’t explain every technique I heard about, you can google it. Below, I share what works for me. I also found compelling Bullet Journalling, but I didn’t try it yet. Hey Sister, if you know the magic, share it with us!
My Menu+Tapas List.
Make a list or a vision board of 3 biggies you want to accomplish today. If morning is your the most productive period, start your day with the one that scares you the most. Simply because that one needs courage and strength, which we tend to lose during the day doing other things. We build our confidence by handling difficult tasks. I do it every Sunday evening and plan for the following week. Be realistic and practical about your goals.
To my menu list, I add smaller, but still important things to feel achieved. Some tasks, I do anyway, but I don’t want to skip them as they are meaningful to me, like my mental health.
My List Today:
3 BIGGIES (which help me to stay on the track, set up in the beginning of the week)
- Write Article about self-care for Women
- Read book Mantak Chia: The Multi-Orgasmic Couple
- Prepare the first draft to open Patreon Account
TAPAS (to nourish me or what makes me happy, set up daily)
Daily practice
Coursera course (currently: The Science of Well-Being)
Dance
Swim in the sea (I don’t like sunbathing)
Water the garden
Cook dinner
Tea break
Zoom call – 21.00
Lovemaking
Note: The list at the end of the day:
- Write Article – 70% done
- Read the book – 10% read
- Prepare the first draft – 5% done
Daily practiceCoursera course – 30 mins doneDance– no need, it rained
Swim in the sea
Water the gardenCook dinner– so empowering!
Tea break
Zoom call with lovely ladies Love making– Mind-blowing.
6. Become financially independent.
Learn how to take control over your finances and gain economic stability. It will secure your freedom and increase the chance to make a wise decision. Check tricks & ideas on how to save money. Track your progress. It helps to creates a routine.
7. Invest in education.
I love to learn. My brain is excited with new impulses coming from courses or wokshops. With fresh incentives, I’m original and inspired.
A quick trick to keep your brain active: Change your routine. Take a different path to work, brush your teeth with the other hand, experiment in the kitchen or talk to someone in the public transportation. Variety increases our happiness and makes it less boring.
8. Be kind and generous.
Happiness comes from little moments during the day. Giving love and time, smiling, being kind and grateful, helping others, makes you feel better, happier and fulfilled.
Do random acts of kindness and increase your social network.
It can be a simple action, like asking your coworker about his/her day, smile at the shop assistant while picking up the groceries, turn off your phone while having dinner with someone important to you, be more attentive to your friends needs, connect with someone you care about, or give to charity.
9. Bonus: Become a multi-orgasmic woman.
Self-pleasure or solo-cultivation (I love the term).
Life is too short to leave our biggest gifts unopened.
Self-pleasure is an incredible way of getting to know your body, connect with yourself, create and cultivate sexual energy.
Especially in a corporate world, where minds are dominated, women experience difficulties to feel their body or energy flow. It’s kind of a protective mechanism to hide our vulnerability while suppressing our nature.
Your sexual energy is your driven force. Step out from your comfort zone and learn about your sexuality. Prioritize your pleasure. I can guide you through this exploration.
Create a sacred space and moment. Prepare your bedroom, or place you want to become intimate with yourself. Get rid of TV, mobile or any distractions. Reserve time and don’t get disturbed. Put on sensual music, bring candles, oils, flowers, whatever you love to stimulate your senses.
Relax. Relaxation and attention are the ways to orgasm. Laugh, have fun, play and enjoy yourself.
Breathe deeply. (point 1)
The journey of the body’s discovery.
Everything has to come from your heart, the heart is an unifying space for everything.
Love and appreciate every part of your body without criticism. Get familiar with your sexual anatomy and personal with your outer lips, clitoris, vagina, cervix, perineum, anus. Your body will guide you, it starves for your physical touch.
Important: Intention matters. During self-pleasure, we create and multiply energy we bring in. It means if you’re sad, you’ll build more sadness. Duplicate love and joy instead.
What really turns you on? Find joy in everyday’s life. For juicy ideas join us in the newsletter!