If you can say no to little things, you will be able to say yes to big ones.
What is a healthy masculine essence? How does a charismatic man feel like?
Note: If you are not sure what I mean by masculine or you have any gender issues, read the disclaimer first.
Masculine man is focused, present, directed and confident. He has a purpose, he observes and brings consciousness to everything he does. He enjoys life, living in harmony with integrity and humor. He is sensitive, spontaneous and spiritually alive. He owns his unique natural expression to the world. Wholeness for him is embracing both, his inner masculine and feminine essence.
What are the challenges blocking you from growth?
You invent excuses as you lack creative discipline.
You blame money, not having enough time or working too much.
You said that you had been not raised to take care of yourself.
You spend too much time with your phone, TV or laptop.
You get lost in tasks and duties which are not important.
You have a half-assed attitude and settle down for mediocrity.
You are not clear about your values and you don’t know who you are.
You make your partner and/or family your purpose because you don’t dig for yours.
How to grow in a sustainable way? How can you reach your full potential and take better care of yourself? Techniques.
Remember: Keep tracking your progress. It helps you build a steady routine.
1. Spend time in solitude, embrace your mental health.
- Sit in stillness and silence for 10 minutes and simply breath deeply. Rest in a comfortable position, relax your shoulders and put your hands on the abdomen, below your belly button. Inhale deeply through your nose, as you filter and warm the air while pushing your belly out. Exhale fully with the belly going back to its original position. Repeat.
- Meditate. Practice mindfulness, awareness, and learn how to be fully present and conscious in everything you do. If you don’t know where to start, my partner loves the techniques from American meditation teacher Shinzen Young. You can sign in for his life program or follow the technique mentioned in one of the samples of his podcasts.
- Go for a retreat.
Meditation is here not to drag you away, but to prepare you for the real world, to be able to work with the intensity of life, build your resilience. Make your life bigger by deeper engagement with life, being more open, present, relaxed. Being sad, angry or even being a dick sometimes is part of the real human experience.
2. Embrace your physical health.
My friend after reading one of my articles said: “I’m disappointed. You pointed out things that everyone knows, like eat healthily, exercise more, etc.” When I asked him if is he actually doing it, he came up with excuses.
We’re looking for a complex formula how to live the life, while a simple solution is laying in front of our eyes.
In order to stay focused, being able to perform in a high-stressful environment, your body and brain have to be completely functional so you can rely on them in challenging situations.
Treat your body as a temple. Eat healthily, avoid processed sugar or junk food. Take time to enjoy your food. Play with recipes if you fancy cooking.
Support your muscles by exercising regularly by choosing what brings you extra fun. Go to the gym, do yoga or exercise outdoor where it doesn’t cost anything. In this video, you can see how my husband got creative without having any real equipment.
Drink plenty of water, your metal bottle should be easily reached.
Get proper sleep by turning off all screens at least half an hour before planning to go to bed.
3. Spend time with your good friends.
Engage with other men. Your close friends should be able to challenge your laziness, point out your excuses, don’t let you settle down for mediocrity and come up with suggestions of actions. In a healthy men environment, you should encourage and support each other, gain strength, reflect and grow.
Get rid of Macho trash talk, pointless jokes or drinking beers till early morning.
With your buddies, you should be open, honest, be capable of talking about your purpose and what is holding you back to fulfill it. You should express your fears to be empowered to face them and acknowledge your dark sides.
4. Embody your feminine part.
It means opening your heart to be able to love more. Being spontaneous and creative. You can oil-paint, listen to music or read. If you’re looking for an engaging book, give a shot for The way to Superior Man by David Deida.
Slow down. Spend time in nature. Go for run, hike or a walk to the nearest park, forest or meadow. You can work in your garden, or with wood, don’t be afraid to make your hands dirty.
5. Be aware of your stress level, and signs of burnout.
Stress is energy created inside towards action, yet not expressed in action. Its accumulation evolves in insomnia, anger, numbness, illness, cynicism. Mis-management can lead to a chronic stress state which is called burnout.
How to recognize the warning signs?
Take a moment before planning your weekly schedule to ask yourself:
Do I have enough resources to succeed this week and do my work?
Do I have enough time to fit my workload into normal working hours?
Do I have enough control to do my job?
Is the level of my performance decreasing?
Do I feel nauseous every morning while heading to work?
Do I sleep well?
Am I angry without any specific reason?
6. Be humble and seek a mentor.
Mentors coach, prepare you for change, motivate, challenge, protect and advice. The mentor is experienced and provides you guidance in the area you need a hand with, in your relationship, professional path or spiritual exploration. The mentor is not that buddy that confirms your ego. He challenges you to your core and supports you in becoming the man you need to be. He cuts through your bullshit games. He holds that space for you so you are able to find answers.
If your friends can’t do the job, it’s time to look for a mentor who can.
7. Find your purpose.
Ha, like it’s an easy task. It’s not, but for a man, finding a purpose is crucial.
Instead of trying hard to get to the core of your being, approach it from a lotus flower perspective, unfold one layer at the time. You get closer with every fulfillment of your current purpose. Once you are ready you’ll explore the next petal. Note: If you can’t visualize an unfolded lotus flower, an onion works as well, I just don’t like onions.
A man without a purpose is running through his life like a chicken without a head. You are going in a circle without direction, your decisions don’t make sense and it affects other chickens around you.
Your partner doesn’t truly want to be your number one priority (if she/he encompasses her/his feminine side and works on personal development). She wants to meet that man whom she fell in love with. The determined man with direction and objectives. Only then, she absolutely surrenders because she can trust you. If a woman has become the point of your life, you are lost.
Don’t be afraid to do mistakes, try and fail. It’s part of discovering your purpose.
If you don’t live from your center, giving your fullest gifts, none of your colleagues, friends, kids or your partner will trust you.
8. Be generous and bring back to the community.
Volunteer.
Why? Because men are represented by their actions. It makes you a better man. You make a difference to the people around you.
9. Bonus: Become a multi-orgasmic man.
Yes, you heard it right. A Man has the capacity to have more orgasms.
Self-pleasuring, masturbation or solo cultivation produces life-giving sexual energy which can enhance your individual, relationship and professional path if you learn how to control it.
We’ll dig into specifics, for now, start to train your pc muscle and learn how to breathe deeply in order to gain control and be able to move energy through your body.
PC (pubococcygeal) muscle stretches from your pubic bone to the bottom of your spine. Like any other muscle in our body, it has to be trained to be strong and controlled. The simplest exercise is to interrupt the flow when you urine by squeezing that muscle from 3 to 4 times, when you go to the toilet. Find out more at wikiHow.
Breath deeply. You can follow the breathing exercise mentioned above, point 1.a, inhale profoundly through your nose to your belly and exhale fully. Repeat. By managing your breathing, you can easily slow down before the point of no return as breath is connected to our heart, and draw your sexual energy away from your penis which will save you from unwanted early ejaculation. Stop for a second. Take a quick rest to be able to continue your pleasure and to move to the next arousal. Repeat and get closer to ejaculation this time. Repeat. Enjoy.
Detailed instructions are coming soon.