Mutual Masturbation is when two (or more) people self-pleasure in each other’s presence. It can involve both partners touching themselves while they watch and/or exploring their bodies simultaneously.
I previously declared that I’m a huge fan of this practice. For me, it’s an immense turn on, playful foreplay that increases the level of intimacy between both of us. It saved us during the long-distance period or when we couldn’t have penetrative sex. The most useful benefit of mutual self-pleasuring is the master class on sex education you get, while learning what the other person likes You can show your partner how you do it, how you want to be touched at that moment. With time, our bodies also respond differently to any stimuli, so it’s good to catch up and update our knowledge of a partner’s body.
Few Tips to make mutual masturbation an unforgettable experience
Feel at ease with yourself. Only then you can fully enjoy masturbation with your partner, being seen and enjoying the pleasure of your lover. How? Check these tips!
Talk beforehand. Communicate and set boundaries. Maybe you want just that and no penetration, maybe you don’t want to be touched, maybe you want to sit closer or further away. It’s you, who sets up the rules. Respect each other’s wishes.
Create a mood. No need to “overcandle” it (or why not? I’m the one who could burn the flat). Put any music which helps to relax, extra pillows or make the bed. Make sure you have uninterrupted time (no phones, no pets, no kids) and dive into the experience.
Go slow. I can’t underline the importance of taking it slow enough. We need time before jumping into it to relax and connect. Sit or lie down next to each other, breath deeply together while looking into each other’s eyes. Then take off your clothes and give a compliment to your partner about their body. Continue with touching your lips, neck, move along your arms, chest, tummy, legs. Forget genitals at the moment. You can talk to your partner describing what you do. Next, explore your breasts, nipples, travel gently to your genitalia. Play with movements, pressure, speed. Enjoy the present moment shared together.
Maintain eye contact. It creates a connecting experience that strengthens the relationship. I think it’s beautiful and incredibly sexy to watch my partner react and enjoy the pleasure of his own body.
Get rid of the goals of orgasms or climaxing at the same time. You will lose the connection within yourself, your body and your lover. Enjoy this practice at your own rhythm, focusing attention on your own sensations.
Lube. Use coconut oil or your preferred lubricant.
Play. Creativity is a basic ingredient to a playful passionate healthy long-term sexual relationship. You can use toys and show your partner how you like to use them, switch positions so your partner can enjoy you at a different angle and/or incorporate massages of vulva and penis to intensify the encounter.
If you’re shy, try the following. Tell your partner to enter the room, let’s say, after 12 minutes. Then they can only silently watch from behind the half-open door until you call him/her in to join you.
Exploring the whole body, not just the genitals with a slow touch, and expressing support for the feelings that appear, enables you to feel safe and relaxed. Or you can include a “no-touching” rule, so you can only touch yourself, not your partner.