I believe that we can’t fix our relationships, career paths, sex lives if we don’t work on our stuff first.
What is self care?
Self care is care provided “for you, by you.” It’s about identifying your own needs and taking steps to meet them. It’s treating yourself as kindly as you treat others, with respect, love, compassion, and consciousness. Self care is simply self-love in action, they can’t exist without each other.
It has become one of the marketing tools selling us “the best deal” for expensive packages to feel rejuvenated, and pushing the idea that we’re not good enough. Ignore it and do whatever makes you feel good. Make time for it. Reserve one hour or at least half an hour per day in your calendar with 100% importance which cannot be canceled and it’s non-refundable.
The secret is…
The whole success behind self-care is to understand and strongly affirm that You’re worthy. You know your value.
For me, it took many years to recognize that. Our society doesn’t really support building individuals who can grow in their true essence and be who they are.
You need to tell yourself:
I’m amazing. I know that I need time for myself, otherwise I’m dry, can’t provide, stay productive or creative. I take full responsibility for my actions and stop sabotaging my dream life with the feeling that I don’t deserve it. On the contrary, I’m thankful as I can transform all those gifts to people around me in a genuine way. I guide, acknowledge, listen, connect, encourage, love. I’m present and grateful, I hold space, create safety, take care, give freedom, spread harmony and humor.
Do it. With an open heart and full consciousness.
You need to say it LOUD because we have a tendency to be dragged back by negative affirmations or to forget how beautiful and unique we are.
Then you can realize how much energy you have, how incredibly powerful you are and how huge impact you have on people around you. Be honest with yourself so you can be truly who you are and be able to make decisions as a free man.
Why do self care?
It makes you healthier from a physical and mental standpoint. You can handle stress and build a strong resilience. You become more focused on your daily life. You are a role model to your friends, kids or your partner.
How to find a powerful self care especially for me?
Take a moment and answer these questions:
What makes you feel calm and relaxed?
What makes you feel focused?
What makes you feel free?
What makes you feel more present and engaged with life?
What makes you feel enjoyable?
What makes you feel excited?
What were the things you were interested in as a kid?
What makes you feel strong?
What makes you feel regenerated?
What makes you feel more connected to God, Spirit, Universe or Nature?
If you have clear answers, go ahead and start building your daily routine. Spend one hour (or half) per day doing simply what you love to do or what your body and mind need, depends on what you actually require. Do you seek regeneration or focus? It’s about the results you want to obtain. One wise person said, if one wants to stay young, he should imitate his inner child.
If you have troubles with control, follow the action plan below. You can gain more ideas about creating your personal self care habit and grow as a man. It takes discipline and a lot of effort, but that’s the way to live fully, find your freedom and peace.
Remember: The best practise is one you actually do. Don’t be too harsh on yourself. It’s better to practice 10 minutes every day than do nothing the whole week and try to catch up during the weekend.
Your Action Plan.
How to accomplish successful self-care based on the theory of planned behavior by Icek Ajzen.
If you don’t make a small step every day, you will never reach the top of the mountain.
Maybe you feel positively motivated to try new things right now, but after two days we tend to forget what we learned or read overwhelmed by trivial tasks, duties and our busy lives. After a week you get angry with yourself because you couldn’t change a thing. Self-care requires discipline and practice. The Action Plan can help you to follow your daily practise and achieve visible results.
- 1st step: WHAT do you want to do? How do you want to spend time for yourself? Be realistic and practical about your assumptions.
- 2nd step: What is your motivation? What do you want to accomplish?
- 3rd step: Introduce time factor: WHEN can you do it? HOW LONG? What is your TIMESPAN? Three weeks is a decent start. After this period you can validate and adjust.
- 4th step: WHERE can you do it? Be creative.
- 5th step: With WHOM you can do it? Find your buddy and share this challenge with him. It’s easier to plan and stay on track together. If you can’t find anyone, you can contact me to hold that space for you. It’s about an impact on people around you, towards your commUNITY. We are all connected. After a weekend getaway, we feel relaxed and ready to start the week fresh. The problem is when no one else had the same experience, they’re grumpy, complaining about their lives and hating Mondays. It’s harder to keep your mood up, your regeneration at balance, while people can’t understand you. You can’t be the only warrior. Find a friend with who you can grow together.
- 6th step: What are the difficulties? Identify possible threats to your plan.
- 7th step: What is your coping or back-up plan in case you miss the practise? We feel guilty when we fail, but instead of blaming ourselves, embrace it and get back on track with a replacement.